Why UFOs Never Show Up on Telescopes

Many readers have asked us why UFOs are seen everywhere but through telescopes. You’d think that telescopes, which point at the heavens as a full-time job, would be spotting flying saucers every other Thursday, at a minimum. Well, it turns out there is a very simple answer.

Studies of crashed UFOs consistently reveal that these ships’ anti-radar systems are primitive to nonexistent (depending upon which alien race built the ship), which is why NORAD still sees them from time to time.

However, aliens do have excellent anti-telescope technology, which also causes their vehicles to appear as fuzzy blobs on film — since camera lenses are semi-telescopic in nature.

In fact, anything using glass, plastic, or mineral lenses can be occluded using what the Greys call “CHARLE Rays” (contra-heuristic ante-reflective levitational eschitzation rays), especially any lenses used in tubes, since cylindrical shapes intensify these rays. (How the aliens discovered these rays, and why they came up with that acronym, is a story for another day — a day that will never come, by the way.)

Thus, anyone wearing simple eyeglasses should, in theory, be able to see a UFO. On the other hand, a doctor performing an operation using special microsurgery glasses, if he or she were to suddenly look up through the operating-room skylight, would NOT see the medical UFO hovering directly overhead, looking for abduction-experiment tips from their humanoid colleagues.

No doubt this explains why microsurgeons rank so low on the list of those who have reported UFO sightings. Or it could just be a professional courtesy. *

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